Easter - Shout out to Judas for the long weekend!
I hadn’t heard this before - a punchline 2000 years in the making…
A shout out to Jussie Smollette
On hiring black actors for what has been a traditionally white role.
Shout out to Will Smith!
I never would’ve stood up for another man’s girl like that
A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...
... thanks for every ting.
Shout out to my wife for explaining the word "many" to me
It means a lot
Shout out to my arms for always being by my side...
& my legs for being there every step of the way
Shout out to those who don’t know the opposite of in.
They need the help.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Shout out to old people
otherwise they can't hear shit
Shout out to America!
There's been no school shootings this year!
I'D LIKE TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT OUT TO LIBRARIANS!
oh... sorry...
Whenever I get very angry or if I hurt my self, I shout out the sounds of migratory birds...
...which usually leaves me apologizing to someone for using fowl language.
Shout out to my student loan for getting me through college.
I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.
Shout out to Taco Bell hot sauce packets
For teaching me how to flirt!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I always shout out “God!” When I orgasm
For blessed is he who cums in the name of the lord
can we give a shout out to sidewalks?
Cuz' they really helped to keep me off the streets
Shout out to the undertaker who buried my mum in the wrong crypt, you'd better watch your back!
You made a grave error
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Shout out to my butthole...
for dealing with my shit everyday.
Shout out to all my friends having an identity crisis
, You know who you are, I think?
Shout out to my student loans
for being the only one from college keeping in touch
Shout out to people who dont know what the opposite of in is
^(Ignore this part im only writing this part so my post wont get deleted)
Shout out to the guy who told me the meaning of Plethora
Thank you. It really means a lot
Shout out to all the Dads on Father's Day!
Because if you're black, they're really far away!
Shout out to my spinal cord
For always having my back
Shout out to my grandparents!
Not because they both helped out with something, but because they have a hearing disability.
Alright, before I start my speech I’d like to give a quick shout out to my grandpa!
Cause that’s the only way he can hear
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Shout out to my loving wife, who has made me everything I am today...
Fucking miserable
How do you get a sweet, little old lady to shout out an F-bomb?
You get another sweet, little old lady to yell out "Bingo!"
Huge shout out to the woman that message me first...
Love you, Mum!
I just wanna give a shout out to the ancients, for inventing the calendar.
It has made my day
A guy is spending his first night in prison
He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.
Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.
"46!" and everyone loses their minds.
He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"
"Well we've all been here so...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A woman gets off a roller coaster at an amusement park. Feeling dizzy from the ride, she immediately falls to the ground, unconscious.
She wakes up to find a man rubbing her breasts. "What are you doing?" she asks.
"I was just reviving you," replies the man. "When I saw you unconscious on the ground, I lightly slapped you, but nothing happened. I rubbed your wrists, but nothing happened. I even gave you mouth to mouth, but s...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Three rats are at a bar telling stories on how tough they are....
The first rat takes a shot and says, "Whenever I find rat poison, I like to crush it up and do lines just to get a good buzz for the day."
The second rat takes a shot and says, "That's nothing! Whenever I find cheese on a mousetrap, I purposely trip the spring & right before I get crushed I ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary
so they decide to go shopping at Madison avenue for their wives.
So the poor man asks the rich man "what did you get your wife this year?"
Rich man says " I got her a Huge diamond ring and a brand new Mercedes".
So the poor man asks the rich man "why did you get her both for?"...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
My girlfriend always takes long baths after we finish watching a Ryan gosling movie
I don't know what she's doing in there, but it gives me lots of time to jerk off to Ryan Gosling
There was a man named Walter and his Wife Ethel
Walter took Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he would say to her, "Ethel, you know that I'd love to go for a ride in that helicopter." But Ethel would always reply, "I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
Finally, they went...
2 Mexican gang members...
Carlos and Pepe; are lost in the desert after a drug deal gone wrong...
After days wandering aimlessly, Pepe finds a tree covered in pork. Bacon of all kinds and thicknesses, gammon, sausages and pulled pork hanging in place of leaves.
Not wanting to waste energy on what could potentia...
A group of old friends met at a resort for their annual vacation.
They had a long-standing tradition of sharing jokes with each other. They’d been doing this so long that they just assigned numbers to the jokes to make it easier to tell them.
Someone would shout out “24” or “13” and everyone would laugh.
This went on for a long and then one person y...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
This Sunday is Father's Day
I just want to give a shout out to all you motherfuckers out there.
When I heard that Kevin Hart was injured in a car accident, I was really worried for my kids.
They use the same brand of booster seat!
Too soon?
EDIT - thank you mysterious benefactor for my first gold!
EDIT 2 - Shout out to u/LethKith who wants me and my whole family to die in a fiery car crash. I hope you have a good day buddy. Try to relax and enjoy the joke for what ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
3 boys met a genie on a cliff
The genie promise them each a wish.
They are to shout out their wish while they jump down the cliff. The further they can jump, the more they will get from their wish.
The first boy ran and jumped while shouting "Money!!"
As he landed on the ground, a load of money fell from the sk...
A young woman was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback soon came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the
horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would shout out a wild "Ye-e-e-e-e-ha-a-a-" so loud that it echoed off the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local servic...
Local Egyptian joke that I hope will translate well enough here (Long)
A police office at the station is taking the statements of two people involved in a car accident. He asks the driver first to relay what happened. The driver angrily says “I was driving along down this narrow one-way street when this guy suddenly appears in front of me. I turn on the high beams to w...
A teacher asks her students to answer some quick math questions.
Teacher: Alright class, I want you to shout out the answers to me as soon as you know it, ready? What's 5x2?
Mohamed: 10!
Teacher: Very good Mohamed! That was very quick! Now who can tell me what's 5+4?
Mohamed: 9!
Teacher: Excellent! Mohamed is on a roll here class! See ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A Blond Biking sees another Blond Paddling her canoe
They stop abruptly in confusion, watching this Blond paddling a canoe in the middle of a field of grass.
Quickly the confusion turns to anger as they continue to watch this Blond getting nowhere but continuing to paddle
They shout out loud to the other Blond "Hey! You know it's blonds...
2020 was rough...
But a special shout out to dogs who had to experience it seven times.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Everyone on Cell Block "D" burst into raucous laughter when one of the inmates shouted, "Joke 872!"
Then, another inmate shouted, "Joke 74!" and everyone laughed heartily.
A new inmate turned to his cellmate and asked, "What's that all about?"
"Oh," said the cellmate, "those are references to our master joke book. Instead of telling the whole joke, you just shout out the joke's numb...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.